The 33 Greatest Lies in Aviation

DDAC Admin • May 18, 2020

Spud alert, this article is a joke and is not intended to offend or educate. 

It's testing times for many of us in the aviation industry so we're trying to maintain a sense of humour and remind ourselves about the good, bad and ugly times we've all experienced. Here's a few statements that may strike a light in your memory bank. Please don't take this seriously, consider it satire, like George Orwell's Animal Farm but with less pigs. 

The 33 Greatest Lies in Aviation...

1. I'm from CASA and I'm here to help you

2. Me? I've never busted minimums

3. We will be on time, maybe even early

4. Pardon me, ma'am, I seem to have lost my jet keys

5. I have no interest in flying for the airlines

6. I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons

7. All that turbulence spoiled my landing

8. I'm a member of the mile high club

9. I only need glasses for reading

10. I broke out right at minimums

11. The weather is gonna be alright; it's clearing to VFR

12. Don't worry about the weight and balance - it'll fly

13. If we get a little lower I think we'll see the lights

14. I'm 22, got 6000 hours, a four year degree and 3000 hours in a Lear

15. We shipped the part yesterday

16. I'd love to have a woman co-pilot

17. All you have to do is follow the book

18. This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent

19. We in aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected

20. Oh sure, no problem, I've got over 2000 hours in that aircraft

21. I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument

22. No need to look that up, I've got it all memorised

23. Sure I can fly it - it has wings, hasn't it?

24. We'll be home by lunchtime

25. Your plane will be ready by 2 o'clock

26. I'm always glad to see CASA

27. We fly every day - we don't need recurrent training

28. It just came out of annual - how could anything be wrong?

29. I thought YOU took care of that

30. I've got the field in sight

31. I've got the traffic in sight

32. Of course I know where we are

33. I'm SURE the gear was down
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